muse

blindfolded as he was

thinking of what he had lost 

his love and obsession

his only possession 

his life and his death

his only breath

and here I am 

but a few clumsy strokes

and the desire he evokes

a goddamn 

reflection of what's inside

bleeding darkness - sacrifice 

beautiful perfection 

utter rejection 

a place to hide

from the world outside

and he stares back at me

expecting to be something else

than this deafening silence

on a killing spree

mister e

'Leila!' She heard him calling. 'Leila!' His voice was echoing over and over again. She knew it wasn't real. She knew it was just a trick her mind plays with her every now and then, but still she turned around hoping for a change. Nothing, except the oak trees hovering above the alley, like some giants. Their leaves were softly dancing in the morning breeze. She got carried away for a moment. That lively green around the slides and swings  mesmerized her. She closed her eyes and felt the wind touching her face, playing with her hair. Then it hit her like an arrow. Where were the birds? Suddenly that deadly silence took over her. All she could hear was her own heartbeat getting louder every second. She picked up her pace. 'You need to get home' she was telling herself, 'have a shower and all's gonna be fine'. It wasn't that easy though. Anxiety was literally choking her. She was fighting hard to get some air in her lungs. All the playground was spinning with her. She felt encaged like something was pulling her back. 'Leila!' She heard her name again. This time it was more intense. She could feel his footsteps behind her getting closer. She turned back but still nothing. She wanted to run but she found her feet weren't obeying her anymore. She fell on her knees. 'Leila!' It came from the inside. That hoarse voice ran through every cell of hers. 'Go away!' she started muttering. 'Go away! Go away! Go away! Go away! Go away!' It got louder each time till she was literally screaming. But still, the echo of his voice was a lot louder. She felt like her head was about to explode. The throbbing pain she felt was cutting its way through her every thought, till there was nothing left, except that overwhelming darkness. And she was falling into its abysmal maze. All her efforts to stop it were in vain. There was nothing to hang on to, nothing to slow her down at least. 'Leila!' - she heard her name again. Now, however, it was a soft child's voice. It can't be, she hadn't met him so early in her life. Or had she? 'Leila come, let me show it to you!' He took her hand. Her first instinct was to break free as she felt the icy touch to the marrow, yet her determination was stronger. 'You need to do this, girl', she encouraged herself. He dragged her to the tree house, up the ladder into the petite chamber. The boy was pointing towards something drawn or written on the wall. She couldn't make it out, as it was way too blurry and she was trembling, or more likely shivering with cold. Only when she saw her fingers turning blue she pulled her hand from his. The sudden movement made her stumble. 'Leila! My dearest Leila!' He turned around and she managed to catch a glimpse of his face before she fell again. It wasn't a boy's face, but a man's, just the way she remembered him: somewhat heavy but sensual cheeks, unshaven with a sloppy look, high, predatory nose, and those deep-set hazel eyes which were staring back at her. He had his lips slightly parted as if he wanted to kiss her,  but it was too late, she was already too far below with his voice reverberating in her head.

the dead don't speak

eyes wide open, frozen with fear

traces of tears running down the cheeks

smeared with blood and mud thrown in a mere

and they say the dead don't speak

wrists wide open, ropemarks right below

blackened as lying there for weeks

amidst the bruises with a shadowy glow

and they say the dead don't speak 

terrors wide open, curling up the bed

chewing, consuming the mind so weak

shards of shrieks and whispers in the head

and they say the dead don't speak