here I am
once again
disconnected from the world
playing the same lame chord
my throat is dry
I've got no more tears left to cry
no more hope to hope
I'm at the end of the rope
I feel my stomach in the mouth
about to vomit every uncouth
thought of acidic suicide
and the numbness beside
the heart - it's racing
its speed increasing
my chest can't hold it anymore
an abomination I abhor
my shaky hands
have lost their strength
there's nothing left
except the pest
nothing has changed
I'm still estranged
still all by myself
my brain's a floating kelp
twenty years have passed
I lived more or less
the dreams I had
still hurt bad
once again
I stare into the rain
wish for it to go away
leave me one more day
it made it to fall
the ramshackle wall
it scattered the trash
filled in the gash
it shattered the glass on the floor
the room came to a dreadful eyesore
crimson stains everywhere
stupefied fear in the air
yet I'm still here
to the end near
you know why
let me die
let me die